I was looking in the mirror this morning – and I don’t know when it happened – but my bump has now reached truly epic proportions. The good thing is that it’s looking very round and bump-like, so I feel like I’m a proper pregnant lady at last. Then again, on Friday at work I told Scott in accounts that I was off on maternity leave and he asked me when I was going. When I told him in two weeks’ time he looked totally shocked – which left me paranoid, thinking did people just think I was getting really fat and were too polite to say anything? Then I put it down to the fact that he’s a bloke and wouldn’t have a clue anyway.
Work is getting very hard now. I’m so tired and out of puff that I keep sneaking into the lift to go up to the first floor rather than taking the (10) stairs. Anne told me this breathlessness is down to the baby being so high up in my chest he’s bashing into my lungs - well, she didn’t put it quite like that, but you get the gist. I’m even finding it tough to drag my hippo-sized body out of the office for lunch each day, but I’m trying to force myself to walk around for at least 15 minutes to give me a bit of fresh air.
It's terrible how much I want to stop working – I've even got a piece of paper with all the days I've got left in the office written on it and every day I cross one through – it helps me keep going. (Must remember to bin it before I leave in case Susan sees it and works out what it was for!)
At the weekend I had a panic attack thinking that the baby could arrive early, so I made Nick take me to town for some more baby shopping. We were only out for a few hours as I can't keep going like I used to and car journeys are getting a mite uncomfortable too – any longer than about 30 minutes and I get all stiff and achy.
When we got homeI spent ages practising taking the car seat off the travel system and fitting it into the car. I suggested that Nick do it too, but of course, being a man he said he didn’t need to practise, but when it came to it he had to read the instructions several times before he got it right.
I'm also more freaked out about 'TheBirth'. It was OK at the beginning as it seemed like miles away and I could bury it at the back of my head, but now the idea of it seems very real indeed. I know it’s going to hurt (obviously), but I’m hoping (in a totally bonkers way) that I’ll be one of those women who doesn’t feel contractions until the very last push. But, back in the real world, I just want to be able to cope with the pain and be prepared for whatever it takes to get my baby safely into the world.
P.S. Keep getting loads of Braxton Hicks’ contractions. I asked Anne at my antenatal appointment if that was normal and she said I’d be having a lot more of them as I got nearer to my due date. I wondered if having so many practise contractions meant the birth would be a breeze, but she just looked at me and raised her eyebrows – OK, so it was worth a try!